Life As We Know It

Art for Aoife: dance like nobody's watching

 

 

 

 

 

Dance like nobody's watching;

love like you've never been hurt.

Sing like nobody's listening;

live like it's heaven on earth.

~ Mark Twain

 

 

Yay!

The first canvas for Aoife's room is done!

I have to admit I was a bit nervous about it. I mean, come on, the girl wanted pink and purple for Pete's sake...talk about taking me out of my comfort zone!

But I did it! So yay me!

Her other stipulation was it had to have a ballet/ dance theme. Thankfully that wasn't as hard because we both share that little obsession. Phew!

In order to make it as personal and as meaningful as possible I used special papers celebrating her firsts for the background (like a certificate celebrating her first haircut, her first drawing of us as a family of four, her first passport, her birth announcement...), the wall paint we used in her room, and the tie- back from her new curtains to create the tutu (we used a different ones in the room), as well as little special symbols dotted around the place.

I love that her drawing of me (from that first drawing of us as a family of four) shows through down the bottom of the painting. I see so much symbolism in that. That is how I want to be as a parent. I want to raise capable, independent adults, who live their own lives and follow their own dreams, but know that I am always behind them, supporting them and cheering them on.

 

how I {don't} fit it all in, part 2

 

This is the second part of a blog post on how I don't fit it all in. The first one can be found here.

***

Hello my dears!

Me again!

I had so many thought on that last post I decided to divide it into three parts. It's something I'm constantly working on.

 

 

Knowing you need some me-time each day and actually having it are completely different things. So I've been thinking a lot about what I do, or have done, to make it easier to fit it into my life. First some general ideas (from the viewpoint of a stay at home mum, cos that's what I am, but hopefully they are broad enough to help anyone):

 

Accept the season you're in

This may sound silly, and obvious, but I keep coming across people who have wanted kids for years, and love their kids to bits, yet think they can still live it up like they don't have them. Do it all. Have it all. Now!

It may work for a little while, but I don't think anyone can keep that up in the long run.

And comparing yourself to someone who seems to fit it all in at once will drive you crazy. I know. I've been there.

The first few years are intense. You sometimes feel like you are running around in circles all day and have nothing to show from it.

One of the best things I did for myself after having kids was to fully accept the season I'm in. Knowing that I can't do it all, I have managed to focus on what really matters to me right now, and happily put other things on hold for a while.

For a while. Not forever. For a while.

 

Simplify

Yes, that old chestnut!

But it really is true. The simpler you make your life, the more time you have left over for "the fun stuff", whether that's playing with your kids or taking some much needed me-time when the baby naps.

 

Know your limits

I have lived with a bad back for years. If I overdo it, I'm out of action for days, sometimes weeks, on end.  So I need to take time out each day.

I once asked a friend how she keeps her house so immaculate at all times. She said she does a lot of stuff at night after the kids have gone to bed. My gut reaction was a big, fat "NOOO!!!". What works really well for her is my personal idea of hell.

Work out your limits.

Knowing my limits has helped me work better in the time that I've got. Which leads me onto:

 

Don't waste time

What's your time-suck? Mine is the computer. When I go on the computer I lose hours at a time. So I try to keep it off when the kids are around. Because that's our time together. Or if I want to paint. Because that's my time to paint. And so on.

I don't trust myself. Sad, but true. And it has actually made me a lot more focused.

 

You can fit more into a short space of time than you think you can.

I used to think I couldn't do anything unless I had a huge block of time at my disposal. Then I had kids!

Realising I could get a lot of things done with just the odd minute here and the odd minute there at my disposal was a huge revelation. They don't get finished in one sitting, but they get finished. And perhaps even more importantly; they get started!

 

Right. That's just some general stuff that has helped me find some time for myself during the day. I'll be back next week with more practical ideas for arting and blogging.

Have a good weekend my friends!

 

Reflections

 

 

Kirby 4 days old, January 2011

 

"Reflective thinking turns experience into insight"

John Maxwell

 

At 3 am the house is quiet. A sliver of light from another room gently guides me to his crib. I pick him up and his warm, sleepy body sinks into my arms, trusting that I will provide him with the comfort and nourishment he needs. I move to the rocking chair. Soon the rocking and his rhythmic sucks lull me into a calm, meditative state.

As I rock my darling baby, my heart full of love for this sweet little creature I have been entrusted with, my thoughts drift to the events of the previous day.

I welcome this. It is not a distraction. It doesn't take away from the enjoyment of the moment, but adds to it. I'm glad of the chance to reflect on my day and learn from it with a few hours of precious sleep in between to clear my head. As a mother of two, I take quiet moments to reflect wherever I can find them.

 

It's a matter of perspective. Middle of the night feeds can be a drag, or an opportunity. I choose to look at them as an opportunity.

 

An opportunity to pray, think things through, and get in tune with my innermost wishes. But most of all, an opportunity to hold and love that precious bundle of mine.

Gretchen Rubin says "the days are long, but the years are short". Well ain't that the truth!

Exhausting as it was at times, I look back with wonder and gratitude on all the nights we spent together. They were a gift. I will always look back on them with fondness.

Thank you Kirby!

 

life right now

 

Well hello!

I've been a very neglectful blogger lately, so here's a quick catch up:

 

:: After a 5 year (yes, year!) discussion, we have decided to bring the PC into the main house. That makes me a very happy camper since it means I will no longer have to freeze my butt off in the workroom (which is on the other side of the back garden) just to use the computer. I'm hoping it'll make me a more regular blogger (and blog visitor) too. So very, very happy about that one. The only downside- they can't come out and move the broadband until December 17th. Boo!

:: Kirby started crawling "properly" and cruising on the same day a couple of weeks back.

:: He turned 10 months a few days ago. I can't believe how quick this year is going! He also recently discovered the joys of emptying kitchen cupboards...

 

 

So I'm giving him free reign to the plastic container cupboard.

:: We found a lost pet rabbit on our way to school on Thursday. After knocking on several doors and being led on a bit of a wild goose chase, we eventually found the owners. They seemed less than impressed that we had brought it back.

:: I have been humming "Little Cabin in the Wood" ever since. Grr!

:: After being at constant logger-heads for a month or two, Aoife and I have finally made peace. I am so relieved. It was weighing heavily on my mind.

 

 

:: Speaking of Aoife; after several months of itchy hell, she's finally lice and nit free. I'm very relieved about that too! Should your precious one ever get them, please take this advice from someone who tried just about everything to get rid of the nasty so and sos; don't bother with chemical head lice shampoos or homemade remedies, just get a metal nit comb and comb, comb, comb (and vacuum/ wash everything in sight) every day till they are gone. They are pricey, but worth it.

:: After I was rushed to hospital back in the spring, I said I'd take more pictures of myself with the kids and not always be the one behind the camera. It seems I haven't. I had to trawl through my archives to find the one above. I so want to get better at this. It's important. I would like more pictures of me and Alan together too.

:: I'm thinking lots about fire lately and think I will have to post on the subject soon.

:: At last count I had 17 posts in draft form. Mostly written, painfully slowly, on the Kindle. Yup, I definitely need that broadband moved!

:: I'm considering taking on a new role within the church. My first reaction was "no" because I felt ambushed by the person asking me, but I decided to sit with it for a few days anyway. I'm now pretty sure I'll do it, I just want to pray on it a bit more. I'll tell you more when I make my decision.

:: I haven't done any art journaling for a couple of weeks. I'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms.

:: Alan and I went to see "In Time" on Saturday. It was ok. I liked the concept and wanted to see what they made of it, but found the film a bit bland. It could have pushed boundaries, but it paled in comparison to films like "the Matrix" or "Inception". Still, it was a nice enough movie.

:: I'm working on Kirby's Christmas stocking whenever I have a quiet moment to spare, and am nervously watching the calendar as I stitch. I have chosen a way too detailed pattern for the time I have left. I still have to finish the other ones too. They are all at various stages of completion.

:: I'm pretty much all done with the Christmas shopping though!

 

Right, are we caught up? I think so.

 

The ice cream jar

 

 

It all began during the summer holidays when Aoife was treated to a few ice creams from the van and suddenly started expecting one every time.

We didn't like that.

So after talking with her at length about the nature of treats we decided that if she wanted an ice cream from the van she would have to buy it herself (unless, of course, it was a special occasion or we fancied treating her to one). Then we helped her set up a jam jar in the kitchen to keep her ice cream fund handy, but safe.

Oh man, you should have seen her. She just LOVED the idea, and quickly went scrounging for any old coin she could find around the house.

It was brilliant.

Even though she doesn't have an allowance (yet?*), doesn't get paid for chores (yet?*), and still thinks a bigger coin equals a higher value, she quickly became pretty inventive about getting money together.

And she was so proud the first time she used her own money to pay for an ice cream.

And we were so proud of her.

 

* We're still trying to work out how we're going to play it.

The marble jar

 

 

So we are trying to teach Aoife a little bit about earning a wage and delayed gratification this summer.

Yes, at 4!

She's asked a lot of questions about her daddy's work lately. Why does he have to work? Why does he have to work every day? Why does he have to work such long hours?

Then there are constant questions like why can't we go see mormor right now? Why can't we go to see grandad? Why can't we do this? Why can't we do that? 

They are all valid questions that need answering, but trying to explain (in a child-friendly way) that Alan's work pays for the house we live in, the clothes we wear, the food we eat, and the fun we have didn't get us very far. I didn't want to go down the slippery slope of paying for chores (I do not like that), but needed to show her what earning a wage is all about. So we decided to start a marble jar.

She is used to the marble jar concept from nursery and loves it. There they got to put a marble in a jar at the end of the day if they tidied up a zone, then at the end of term, when the jar was full, they got a party. We changed that a little bit to suit our circumstances.

 

She can earn up to three small marbles per day for doing her chores, minding her language and taking care of personal hygiene herself. At the weekend she has the opportunity to earn a big marble on top of  the three small ones by doing a bigger chore. And while she's doing these things I try to relate them back to Alan's work by talking about the every day things we do. I also try to point out how I contribute. I may not get paid for my job, but it is just as important. And I think it's important kids understand that.

When the jar is full I'm hoping to show her, using the marbles again, how Alan's salary has to be divided up, and that only a certain portion of it can be used for fun days out and treats. She's a visual person, so I'm hoping she'll get it if I do it this way.

 

How do you deals with work and money questions from young kids?

 

Summer chores

 

 

We have started Aoife on proper chores this summer, which is scary and fun all rolled into one. She suddenly seems so darn grown up!

She's used to helping out. She has helped us tidy and clean since she was old enough to make a mess (I remember holding a basket in front of her when she was just a baby, encouraging her to put her toys away), but she has not had proper chores until now.

She's taken to them quite well. I had talked to her about chores quite a lot in advance, but  still expected some resistance once the novelty wore off, but so far so good. The marble jar thing we're doing this summer helps (I'll post about that on Wednesday), but she knows we'll probably not do that come autumn and she's still pretty eager to do her chores.

Saying that, about three days into it she asked me to stop drinking so much tea... there were too many cups in the dishwasher (that she empties)!

Since Aoife started on the chores, I have found myself calling my work chores too, even though I'm normally much more comfortable calling them jobs. And it didn't take her long to realise that she can speed up my chores by helping out. Because once my chores are done, I'm ready to play.

 

When did you start your kids doing chores?

 

Summer goals

 

 

We're introducing Aoife to a few new things this summer. Summer goals is one of them.

I've been reading about summer goals on 71 Toes for a few years now and absolutely love the idea behind them. Aoife and I  both thrive on routine and go a bit stir crazy in the summer unless there is some structure, so they really suit our personalities. She is the perfect age to start them this year.

She has already started doing chores and likes them. It helps that we're doing a marble jar thing this summer in exchange for days out, but she knows we won't have that come autumn and is still looking forward to chore time. I think I'll write a separate post on both of them.

The telling time thing is quite funny. She is only four, but has been pestering me to teach her to tell time for ages, so we will work on that when  we get back from our summer break. She also needs to learn a few things to get ready for school when we get back, like the three school prayers and motto. 

The little circles on the side are for Aoife to colour in when she has completed her goals. She loves drawing so much, she can't wait to colour them in!